Understand the world business terms!

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

INDIAN CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You worship them.

BRITISH CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATISM
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and

invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
“Democracy”

NIGERIAN CORPORATISM
You have 2 cows.

Your son is sent home from school for school fees.
You have no option but to sell the cows.
On your way to the market with the cows, police ask you for

the receipts of the cows
They wasted your time and you eventually paid N1,000 bribe
You sell the 2 cows and head to the bank to pay your son's school fees
At the entrance of the bank armed robbers strike and collect all the money

You return home empty handed but happy to be alive
You give the testimony in church the next Sunday and rounded it up with a party.

AMERICAN CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATISM
You have two cows..
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for
five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by
the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows
back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with
an option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States ,
leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

FRENCH CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads,
because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon'
and market it worldwide.

GERMAN CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a
month, and milk themselves.

ITALIAN CORPORATISM
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

RUSSIAN CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

SWISS CORPORATISM
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

CHINESE CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.